Alex Grendi is a men’s sex coach who sells a $3,000 virtual course with access to a support group.Grendi became a sex coach after overcoming a personal, more than decade-long struggle with performance anxiety. He shared how he created the 12-week course, and what clients get out of it.
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From the time Alex Grendi was 10 years old, he remembers his parents talking about sex.”They were the most sexually liberated parents I knew,” Grendi told Business Insider. Their candid conversations wore off on him, and he remembers being the classmate who taught his less privy peers what a blow job was.Now 36, Grendi has made a career out of being a sex coach where he helps men overcome any performance anxiety-related concerns like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, though men who simply want to have more satisfying sex lives are also welcome.Through his virtual course — which costs $3,000 and involves meeting as a group once a week for 12 weeks — Grendi aims to teach clients how to satisfy their female partners and stop centering penetrative sex.”I know a lot of women feel short-changed when it comes to orgasms. But men are often really embarrassed about that too,” Grendi said.In his personal and professional experience, Grendi has found that men often brush off their sexual anxiety issues because they don’t know how to talk about them, leading their women partners to think they don’t see a problem. In reality, these men often feel frozen by sex-related shame and guilt, he said.Overcoming this himself, Grendi is now on a mission to help other men do the same.Turning his own sexual anxiety into a lucrative business as a sex coachThe transition from being a sex-intrigued adolescent to an adult wasn’t seamless as you’d expect for a handsome 5’11” man who grew up in a sex-positive household.From the time he started having sex at 15, Grendi said he struggled with performance anxiety, which left him feeling blindsided and embarrassed.”I was so worried about performing for my partners that I didn’t really enjoy sex. Even though I had some good experiences, I would mainly get stuck in my head and spiral,” the 36-year-old told Business Insider.For more than a decade, Grendi said that anxiety ruled his sex life whether he was in a relationship or having a casual hookup. He’d often experience erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation with partners, causing feelings of confusion and shame during already vulnerable moments.At 32, Grendi said he felt so sick of the cycle he was in, he decided to work with three different sex coaches, learning strategies to stay present during sex and make it feel fun and comfortable.Ten months after working with his coaches, Grendi said his sex life felt transformed — and he knew other men needed help too.A little over a year later, in September 2020, Grendi launched his own virtual men’s sex coaching business. At first, he focused on one-on-one coaching, but quickly realized he was answering the same questions and providing the same guidance over and over. Six months into coaching individual clients, Grendi decided to video-record his guides and add a community element to his coaching.He said he’s since helped more than 250 people — a mixture of married and single men who range in age from young adults to 66-year-olds — overcome their sexual challenges.Men need to know that there’s more to sexual pleasure than ejaculationWhen men sign up for Grendi’s course, he first screens them to make sure they’re committed to improving their sex lives.He said he looks for men who are willing to be honest about their sexual struggles, and who have a deep desire to overcome feelings of shame and guilt, which is a primary focus of the course. Typically, they come to Grendi through their Google research. If, during a consultation, Grendi feels a man is only interested in sleeping around, using women, and stroking his own ego, he turns them away.”I’m here to help men who are intentional and want to use these practices to become a better man and lover,” Grendi said.Once a week, about eight of his clients get on Zoom to video chat about their progress after spending individual time listening to the video modules — which cover topics like managing life stressors and learning how to stay present during sex — that Grendi created.”I’ve gone through this process and experienced these problems myself, so I offer an understanding, compassionate, and encouraging perspective. At the same time, I hold them accountable to their goals,” Grendi said of his approach.He said that there’s no deadlines for completing modules. Rather, men who buy the course get lifetime access to Grendi’s videos, and can spend as much time as they want on each lesson, such as “Pleasure, Sacred Sex, Moving Energy” and “Knowing Your Arousal and Full Body Pleasure.”No matter a client’s pace, they can always attend the weekly group meeting on Tuesday evenings, an element that Grendi believes makes his course stand out from one-on-one coaching.”You’ve got this community of men who are there for the exact same reason, experiencing the exact same things. We’re all inspiring one another, sharing wins, and getting energy from each other’s successes, but we also support each other in any setbacks,” Grendi told Business Insider.He recalled working with a single 30-year-old client who said it was the norm for sex to feel awkward, anxiety-provoking, and unsatisfying. Grendi helped him learn about female pleasure, giving him the confidence to have sex with a new partner six weeks into the program.When the client shared his win, he also shared a photo with the group — A personalized cake his new sex partner had delivered to his home, decorated in icing that read “Best Dick Ever.””She also messaged him saying that he was the best she ever had,” Grendi said.
