For me, personally, I modeled so much of my behavior after my mother and grandmother. Growing up I thought they were perfect. They did everything for everyone and never made things about themselves. I chose to mimic the behaviors of the two people I felt safest with, not knowing until later in life how unappreciated, taken advantage of, and unhappy they both felt on a deep level. Looking back, so much of my understanding of avoidance came from watching them overlook their own needs to continue their plight of being everything for everyone else.
